What a friend we have in Jesus

I’ve been having a pity party. I have. I have been in a funk all week and giving way to many negative thoughts and lies of the enemy- one several levels. After reading this morning I was trying to think, I need someone to talk to, who can I spring a surprise visit on? Is it appropriate to talk this out? Maybe this is a heart pondering moment.

One thing I have been encouraging Emily about lately (and anyone else who might be considering marriage) is the necessity to NOT talk everything out with someone. I think the most common person young people would run to is Mom, and I’m not just talking about girls here- boys do this too. Sometimes you just want someone to talk things out with and, lets be honest here, we Moms are more than willing to listen to anything you will tell us. Not just listen- we are glad to tell you what to do & think and while we’re at it how bout we tell you what all is wrong with the other person (and right with you)? How’s that appeal to your flesh? Great. Except when we do this we are sowing seeds of destruction in our childrens marriages (or almost marriages)

*BUT if any young man might need to know this, ya know, in the future or something. If you need help understanding women (and you will) go to a man- preferably your Dad. He’s probably been married to a woman for a long time. I realize I’m shooting us Moms in the foot here, I want to hear the good stuff. But, I guess I have to admit- if you get all your advice about women from a woman (even Mom) you will learn to relate to a woman like a woman. Not good. No.

Sooo. Back to me. What do I need for today? When I was going over my Titus 2 arsenal in my mind and trying to decide who’s day I was going to disrupt- the Lord brought this to my mind and a quietness to my spirit.

What a Friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.

Have we trials and temptations? Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged; take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness; take it to the Lord in prayer.

Are we weak and heavy laden, cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge, take it to the Lord in prayer.
Do your friends despise, forsake you? Take it to the Lord in prayer!
In His arms He’ll take and shield you; you will find a solace there.

Jesus Christ died so I could come boldly to the Father as a beloved child why would I try to carry any burden myself? Because I am weak and foolish but He is strong and mighty to save. He will uphold me with His mighty right arm.

 

Domestic Infant Adoption

Our profile is being shown today. The last I heard two profiles are being shown- just like with Josiah. We will probably know by the end of next week which family she chose. I personally think she will want a smaller family. This childs future is in God’s hands and we rest secure in that. It also doesn’t hurt that we’re so busy & will have little time to obsess over this.

We are praying for peace and comfort for this young mother. She is about the same age as Emily & when I contrast their lives it breaks my heart. I can’t begin to imagine.

What’s a profile book? it is a scrapbook of sorts. There are pictures and a letter to the mother. It is intended to tell her about our family in snapshot form. I don’t really like the system but it is way better than how things used to be. She will also get a series of questions we answered about how we live and what we believe about just about everything and another series of questions specifically about trans-racial adoption. This baby is bi-racial.

I am told these books are very important to the mothers. We provide the agency with two so one can be given to the mother that chooses us & one can be kept on file. When Josiah’s birthmother went before the judge to terminate her parental rights she carried a dog-eared much used copy of our profile book with her. She rolled it up and held tightly onto it as she relinquished her baby forever…

More about DIA to come.

 

Let it Begin!

What is about to happen here? I have been collecting antique laces for 20 years waiting until the day my collections would be transformed into the trousseau of my daughters dreams.  This pile will become- a wedding dress, a bridesmaid dress, two flower girl dresses, a smocked dress for a 22 yo (yep, I’m smocking a dress for Emma) I know. You just can’t picture it. Just wait and see the vision of femininity she will be in a smocked, silk chiffon dress. There will will also be various more intimate garments. Like the ladies morning robe I am recreating from the Pink Palace Victorian wedding trousseau collection. Ohhh. This is going to be so fun.

Yards and yards of lily of the valley lace. French Lace! About 50 yards  of lily of the valley french lace! Insertion and edging. Oh. my. Can. you. believe. that?!?

No. I am NOT spending $200+ dollars to create the flower girl dresses. I got this lace at the Salvation Army super sale at the furniture mart. Thank you Heather for dragging me there & teaching me to thrift store shop like a pro! It was an unbelievable number of boxes filled with allot of junk and a few treasures. And I got this lace for seventy-five cents! SEVENTY-FIVE CENTS!

It will be tea dyed to give it an antique look & turned into flower girl confections. I’ll give you peeks into my sewing room as Emily permits.

 

Answering the Call

“If the orphan care movement is going to be successful, it cannot be a movement. It has to bubble up out of real churches. It’s can’t be a special interest group competing with other groups. If it becomes a group movement like Homeschoolers, then it is not calling us to what the doctrine of adoption is about in the first place. We are not adopted because of what we have done based on deeds, how cool we are for adopting, or for what we have accomplished. We cannot get prideful and frustrated by those who don’t ‘get it’ or share our vision of adoption care but rather we know that we are saved by grace and so we can extend grace to those who ‘don’t get it.’”

” Adoption and orphan care is not about finding babies for infertile people. Adoption and orphan care is about saying to the powers of this age, “you can’t have them”, because Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world. Based on Darwinian theory we shouldn’t love them, but we love them because of the Spirit of Christ.” Russ Moore at Together for Adoption Conference

I think the thing that I found most encouraging about the conference were the hundreds of young couples and families we encountered there. The face of orphan care and adoption is changing in the in the church. Young families are stepping out and being used of the Lord- not because they are set financially or because they have come to a time in their lives where it will be easy but because they have heard the call and they are answering in faith and obedience. That is so awesome! It is so exciting for me to hear my children discuss their future families as if adoption is a given.

Last week a friend put a disscussion on Facebook from her oh-so-cute boys about us. One of the boys exclaimed, upon hearing of our adoption plans, that the Riley’s must be rich. Wow, we got a good laugh out of that one!

“I will live in a trailer park for the rest of my life so that I can care for orphans…I will forgo having a second car…who needs cable T.V. when there are orphans in the world…When we start to see that kind of movement, not a Pharisaical, imposing on on another, but when we see people freely and joyfully saying “This is worth it to have another seat at the table” ”

To listen to the sermon in it’s entirety (way worth your time) and to get the context of what he’s saying listen here Adoption and the Renewal of Creation

 

I had way more to say but I have to finish my profile book. Humm. It’s a dilemma, blog about adopting or do the paperwork

Oh. And, our agency emailed yesterday that they are ready to show profiles & we need to get ours updated and sent in ASAP. I am completely caught off guard & have to scramble to get it done. Did you notice I said profiles and not profile? God is raising up a people. I’ll fill in blanks AFTER I finish my work.

 

Give me Your heart

if there be any reserve in my giving to

Him who so loved that He gave

His dearest for me;

if there be a secret “but” in my

prayer,

“Anything but that, Lord,”

then I know nothing of Calvary love.

~Amy Carmichael

The Lord’s dealings with an ordinary family

Have you ever felt the sure call of God to something and you know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, you are not equal to this new call.

Do not fear for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

Adoption is one of the most intense things we have ever done. We have always accepted children as a blessing from God. He tells in His word that a full quiver is a blessing and we find Him faithful to His word. It is very freeing actually. Some of the hardest decisions a newly married couple will face is the question of when, how & how many children to have. We never struggled with that. But. Adoption forces you to make decisions. You have to make the decision to schedule the home study, fill out the applications, have the blood tests, get fingerprinted and all the other stuff that goes along with it. All the sudden we are faced with choices. Onion rings or fries with that? White baby, black baby, tannish baby. Baby with one arm? Crossed eyes? heart condition? Cleft palate? Maternal drug abuse? These decisions have to be made. You get a form and you must check the boxes you will “accept” It just leaves you feeling sort of…yucky. I will drive you to your knees. How can you make such a decision? I guess the reality is- God places different callings on our lives. I guess. I’m thinking there is nothing special about us. YOU can do this. If God places the call to adopt on your family, He will provide all you need. That’s another post.

When we filled out the form we checked every box except two. We checked all sorts of conditions, maternal drug abuse, unknown birthfather, even maternal alcohol abuse. Two things we just weren’t sure we could handle were mental illness and HIV. But- we wanted to pray about it so we asked that the agency call if the situation arose. They called. They had a woman making an adoption plan with a mental illness and a long family history of mental illness. We prayed, we sought counsel both from our spiritual leaders and doctors. We agreed- if this was the baby God had for our family he would be all we needed no matter what. He was the baby had for us. Can you even imagine our family without Josiah? The love God has poured out on us through this precious boy. The lessons he’s taught us about His love, His eternal plan of redemption through adoption. O.K. Now tears…. ohhh, I would have every family I know adopt! God has chosen some of you, even if you don’t know it yet.

So we were driving down Hwy 334, in March 2008 when Les told me to make the call and tell our social worker we had prayed about it and we were open to anything. “You mean anything but….” “No, I mean anything” “But..” “Anything“   Give me Your eyes so I can see.

A beautiful little girl Trey fell in love with in Ethiopia. A little girl who has been given a home, a family. A little girl who is HIV positive.

“In You the orphan finds mercy.” Hosea 14:3

“I will not leave you orphans, I will come to you.” John 14:18

“A father of the fatherless, a defender of widows, Is God in His holy habitation. God sets the solitary in families;” Psalm 68:5

 

Adoption-Coffee-Forever Family

Where to start? I don’t know, so I’ll just dive in and back up from there.

We first heard about Just Love Coffee Roasters at the recent Together for Adoption in Nashville. They provided us with gallons and gallons of coffee over the course of the weekend. African Skies was my favorite but more on that later. Just Love Coffee Roasters was born of one father’s journey to Ethiopia to adopt his children. You can read more about that from the site.

Now- about us & why we are partnering with Just Love. Deep breath. Ouradoptionagencycalledandtheyhaveaspecialmothermakinganadoption planandwouldweprayaboutthisbaby! Did you catch that? So what does Les say to that? “I’ll be praying. You be drawing up the paperwork.” This is a domestic adoption and our profile will be shown to the mother who will hopefully have more than one choice. More on how that works later.

Backing up. When we were applying to adopt the first time we filled out the what-will-you-accept form. I don’t like doing that. It is tough to mark no. We checked all the boxes except two. Skipping ahead to leave out the oh so personal aspects of our life. The Lord has really worked on us the last few years and we know that when He brings a child, He will provide all we need spiritually and otherwise. We just need to say- here I am, use me.

After encountering many closed doors to an Ethiopian adoption we decided to take a break from adoption and focus on Personhood. It is hard for me. It has been a time of being still and waiting. Definitely for my eternal good. I am NOT good at being still and waiting. I need to learn to rest and look to the future with eyes of faith. The last several weeks before the call came I was starting to get a little antsy. The is a getting real part- I was struggling to understand why. We have a heart for special children. The ones whose boxes don’t often get checked. God knows this and He knows the need. He is the God that sets the solitary in families. I had my ideas about what could happen here. We could find some amazing way to pay off debt, Les would land some huge sales. We would be financially set and know exactly how it was all going to work out from beginning to end. God has never worked in our family that way. He calls us to trust Him- to take huge steps of faith to follow where He leads us. A trusted Brother counseled us about Josiah’s adoption “As God opens doors, you walk through them”. By His grace, that is what we hope to do.

How can you help? Pray for us. We have alot going on as most of you know. We have a long list of things that need to fall into place. Stand back and watch. You will be amazed daily at what the Lord will do.

We will be applying for grants and fund raising for this adoption. We need you to pray about joining with us to give another precious child a forever family. We can’t all adopt a child but we can all do something to help hold up the arms of an adopting family.

Sooo. BUY COFFEE!!! Check out our store at Just Love Coffee Roasters and buy awesomely good coffee. JLCR will give $5.00 to our adoption fund for every bag of coffee you buy! Can you imagine how fast that could add up? Organic Fair Trade Coffee would make great Christmas gifts for family, friends or clients. You will be helping us bring a new baby home and a portion of the proceeds go to Kids Care Orphanage in Ethiopia to help build a new school.

Please look consider buying your coffee from JLCR. Thanks!

Visit our store at www.justlovecoffee.com/Rileyfamily

I will also be putting an ad in my sidebar.

I’m praying about blogging this adoption process more in depth. Maybe giving you a little more intimate peek into our life. What do you think? Can y’all handle it?

 

Gaining a son

O.K. so I’m a little late to this party- but not as late as Emily; she hasn’t posted since August.

Emily & Tyler were engaged to be married on October 19th. It happened about 9 at night while we were waiting for Ellen, Cal & Corrie to return from their 3 state Personhood tour. Tyler and Emily were on the porch swing & we were all going about our business while children ran wild through the house. Ya know, like any other night. We were visiting and talking with Caleb, who is like one of our children except he doesn’t run wild through the house. Usually. There was the time he got out of his car, took off running through the yard & jumped into the pond with all his clothes on….  Anyway, I was clueless about what was going on outside. I thought they were discussing their counseling session with Lanny. That session sparked alot of discussion- I guess that’s what good pre-marital counseling will do.

You could have knocked me over with a feather when Tyler made the announcement. I always thought Emily would be the type that would want to think about it before answering. I guess she had already thought about it & I know she had been praying.

I love you both and I’m very happy for y’all ! I have LOTS to say to you both. I’ll write you a book

Love with me

Keith Green

You want to love with me, love with me then,

I only ask that you still be my friend,

For there are many where friendship’s unknown,

They live together, but really alone.

And the days go their ways in silence,

Tense hours of woe,

We do not mean to have it so.

I know that sometimes I’m harder to love,

I thrash out blindly, like nothing’s thought of,

So won’t you help me to help you be sure,

God only knows that I want to be pure.

But the world keeps it promise daily, to let me down,

But it can’t hide what I have found.

So I will love you, and love you I do,

It’s not complete yet, but you know we’re not through

And the days go their ways in blessings,

Moments of truth,

We truly dare not waste our youth

You wanna love with me, love with me then.

“Are you gaining a son or losing a daughter?” People really ask this question. Both. We are gaining a son, for sure, but as she leaves our home to become his wife she will leave her father and become one with Tyler before God. And that is good.

 

Random thoughts from a full heart

This blog has definitely not been neglected because I had nothing to talk about!

Let’s see… I don’t even know where to start.

Hannah, Ellen & Corrie

Ellen went on a trip with Cal and two of her best friends. It seems like a lifetime ago- they visited Missouri, Kansas & Oklahoma for ministry and Personhood work. I am so thankful for how God is working in the lives of these girls. Can’t seem to keep my train of thought here….

Keith Green- Asleep In The Light

Do you see, do you see
All the people sinking down
Don’t you care, don’t you care
Are you gonna let them drown
How can you be so numb
Not to care if they come
You close your eyes
And pretend the job’s done

Oh bless me Lord, bless me Lord
You know it’s all I ever hear
No one aches, no one hurts
No one even sheds one tear
But He cries, He weeps, He bleeds
And He cares for your needs
And you just lay back
And keep soaking it in,
Oh, can’t you see it’s such a sin?
Cause He brings people to you door,
And you turn them away
As you smile and say,
God bless you, be at peace
And all heaven just weeps
Cause Jesus came to you door
You’ve left him out on the streets

Open up open up
And give yourself away
You see the need, you hear the cries
So how can you delay
God’s calling and you’re the one
But like Jonah you run
He’s told you to speak
But you keep holding it in,
Oh can’t you see it’s such a sin?

The world is sleeping in the dark
That the church just can’t fight
Cause it’s asleep in the light
How can you be so dead
When you’ve been so well fed
Jesus rose from the grave
And you, you can’t even get out of bed
Oh, Jesus rose from the dead
Come on, get out of your bed
How can you be so numb
Not to care if they come
You close your eyes
And pretend the job’s done
You close your eyes
And pretend the job’s done
Don’t close your eyes
Don’t pretend the jobs done
Come away, come away, come away with Me my love,
Come away, from this mess, come away with Me, my love.

It’s been two weeks tomorrow since grandmothers accident and so much has happened since then. I feel sort of like a spectator in my life. Like I’m standing in the corner watching all this happen to someone else. I stand absolutely amazed at all the Lord is doing now. I am just so thankful for the peace of God in our life. No matter what goes on around and with us we can know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that our Beloved is ours. What have we to fear? Nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus. So why do we spend so much time trying to guard ourselves from pain, or death, or even discomfort.

Do you see? Do you see? All the people sinking down? Grandmother got moved to a private room. That should make me much more physically comfortable. I’ve been sleeping on a tile floor in front of the sink. It is literally the only available space and people have to lean over me all night to wash their hands. I should be thrilled with a private room but it makes me sad. I have been so blessed to minister to hurting people who I could otherwise never reach. Our first room-mate was a drugged out middle-aged woman who fell at Wal-mart and smashed her jaw. The smallest service on her behalf would reduce her to tears- she had never known sacrificial love. She could not understand why someone would help her and get nothing in return. At one point she literally started weeping and asking “How? How can his be?”

Our next roomy was a 22 yo girl who was in a drunk driving accident and broke half the bones in her body. She was divorced with two kids and she was out drinking the night before her child’s birthday and almost died. 22 years old. I was able to talk with her about her life and were it was going. It is amazing what people will let you say to them if you’ll just help them with their bedpan.

The distraught father in the ICU waiting room. His son was shot in a gang incident and died later that night. Maybe you saw it on the news and thought it was just another one off the street. I was looking into that Fathers eyes as he broke down weeping. A child lost forever. I’ll be honest- My first thought was “Why? Why do I have to be here now? Why did I talk to this man?” I just wanted the floor to swallow me up.

So. I’m headed back tonight. Please pray that I would speak the truth with boldness to hurting people.

I am so excited that the Hootie-Hoot Evangelism team is coming next weekend! Turn the world on its head for Christ!

“We love the old saints, missionaries, martyrs, and reformers. Our Luthers, Bunyans, Wesleys and Asburys, etc… We will write their biographies, reverence their memories, frame their epitaphs, and build their monuments. We will do anything except imitate them. We cherish the last drop of their blood, but watch carefully over the first drop of our own.” - A. W. Tozer

O.K. Emily and Tyler deserve their own post. Coming up.

We have a very serious matter of prayer before us- many needs- lots to work out and we’re updating our homestudy. Did I just say that out loud? A-hem.

 

Are three hearts better than two?

O.K. listening to Family Life Today with Elisabeth Elliot. It’s a rebroadcast from 1996, i think. I sooo want to post quotes but ,arrggg, my hands are tied here. She is echoing the very cry of my heart about the establishing of new families in Christ. It is so refreshing to hear a godly older lady who is not afraid of the term arranged marriage.

“Dennis: So you wouldn’t leave a young person to make that decision of who they marry on their own, as a parent now?

Elisabeth: Absolutely not.  And I hadn’t realized until I began studying my own family – my four brothers, my sister and me – just how much influence our parents had on all of us.  And there’s only one member out of the six of us who actually went against our parents’ wishes and that one person is divorced.“

Listen if you want-  Here

 

Marriage to a Visionary Man

So, this is not my favorite book on the subject but you gotta give credit where credit is due. The author* is right on in this:

Mr. Visionary

God is a Visionary as seen in his person, the Holy Spirit. He made some men in the image of that part of his nature. Prophets, be they true or false, are usually of this type. Some of you are married to men who are shakers, changers, and dreamers. These men get the entire family upset about peripheral issues, such as: do we believe in Christmas? Should we use state marriage licenses? Should a Christian opt out of the Social Security system? The issues may be serious and worthy of one’s commitment, but , in varying degrees, these men have tunnel vision, tenaciously focusing on single issues. They are often the church splitters and the ones who demand doctrinal purity and proper dress and conduct. Like a prophet, they call people to task for their inconsistencies. If they are not wise, they can be real jerks who push their agendas, forcing others to go their way.

What does it mean to be married to this man? It’s been twenty-three years and I’m still learning. He is passionate. He can be moody at times. He is a thinker, not content to take your word for how things should be. He is black or white- almost never gray. Right or wrong. He can tend towards extreme positions on the issues- this is where our church and elders are a great balance for the Riley Family, pulling us back towards the middle of the of the road and admonishing us to always be looking towards Christ.- O.K. so they are probably thinking- What? This is the Riley’s balanced?!? Oh Lord, help us!

We are currently studying the life of David Livingstone and Les actually cheered and high-fived me when he heard this excerpt from Peter Hammond

David Livingstone was inspired by an optimistic eschatology. Like most of the

missionaries of the nineteenth century, Livingstone was a postmillenialist who

held to the eschatology of victory. The optimistic missionary wrote,

“Discoveries and inventions are cumulative…filling the earth with the glory of the Lord,

all nations will sing His glory and bow before Him…our work and it’s fruit are cumulative.

We work towards a new state of things. Future missionaries will be rewarded by conversions

for every sermon.We are their pioneers and helpers. Let them not forget the watchmen of

the night, who worked when all was gloom and no evidence of success in the way

of conversions cheers our path. They will doubtless have more light than we, but we

serve our Master earnestly and proclaim the same Gospel as they will do.”

I struck me a while back that even our family worship reflects this dominion theology. We are focusing on the Kingship of Christ as a family. It even comes out in the hymns we pick. It is our family culture and is very much, unapologetically, shaped by Les and built around Christ.

He’s sometimes hard to please- he expects alot out of us and alot out of himself.

Settling for less than we are capable of is not faithful contentment for what God has given us; it is slothful ingratitude for His gifts. ~Les Riley (from the Riley bulletin board)

We woke up to this little note from Les on our bulletin board. This is pretty typical. It’s not always an easy path he lays before us but we know that his main goal is to live a life of sold out obedience to Jesus Christ.

Les is passionate about fatherhood, liberty, repentance and bringing all under the rule of Christ. Les is passionate about everything. And can sometimes be impatient with people who aren’t.  Who was it that said “The Christian life is a battleground, not a playground”? I can’t remember but it gets quoted at us alot around here. Passionate men can, sometimes alot of times, be misunderstood & I find myself frequently asking him who’s hatin’ on him this week. This used to bother me. I tended to take it personally when people attacked my husband- and they do often. If you take a stand for righteousness in this world, people will hate you. There was just something about threats to our home and my husbands physical person that used to get under my skin. It has been a gracious work of God to give me peace in this area.

If my husband is to stand in the gate and proclaim truth he needs me to stand behind him in faith, to hold him up in prayer. He does not need to constantly babysit my fearful , faith-lacking spirit. We have a flag hanging on our den wall. It is white with a blue star and the words Liberty or Death on it. This flag was stitched by a group of wives in Georgia and presented to their husbands as they left to join the fight for independence in Texas. These women believed something was more important than themselves. That something was liberty. How much more should we be willing to sacrifice for the cause of righteousness? So far all I have really given up to follow this man and his vision is (what the world calls) financial security, leisure/me time and probably alot of sleep. But if I embrace this man and give my life to supporting him in his God given vision- Wow. The blessings and freedom are so much more than I can begin to describe. This is who I am called to be in Christ. This is one of the most important roles a woman can play. It is common to hear that motherhood is the highest calling but I think that is putting the cart before the horse. How can I fulfill the high calling of motherhood if I am not first being a prayer partner, helper, lover, encourager and friend to the man God placed over me? I was created for Him first and then for him. What a blessing!

“High hearts are never go long without hearing some new call, some distant voice of God, even in their dreams. Soon they are observed to break up the camp of ease and start on some new fresh march of faithful service. And, looking higher still, we find those who never wait until their moral work accumulates, and who reward resolution with no rest. Therefore, with them the alteration is instantaneous and constant. They do the good only to see the better, and see the better only to acheive it. They are too meek for transport, too faithful for remorse, too earnest for repose. Their worship is action, and their action is ceaseless aspiration.”                     – James Martineau