Give me Your heart

if there be any reserve in my giving to

Him who so loved that He gave

His dearest for me;

if there be a secret “but” in my

prayer,

“Anything but that, Lord,”

then I know nothing of Calvary love.

~Amy Carmichael

The Lord’s dealings with an ordinary family

Have you ever felt the sure call of God to something and you know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, you are not equal to this new call.

Do not fear for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

Adoption is one of the most intense things we have ever done. We have always accepted children as a blessing from God. He tells in His word that a full quiver is a blessing and we find Him faithful to His word. It is very freeing actually. Some of the hardest decisions a newly married couple will face is the question of when, how & how many children to have. We never struggled with that. But. Adoption forces you to make decisions. You have to make the decision to schedule the home study, fill out the applications, have the blood tests, get fingerprinted and all the other stuff that goes along with it. All the sudden we are faced with choices. Onion rings or fries with that? White baby, black baby, tannish baby. Baby with one arm? Crossed eyes? heart condition? Cleft palate? Maternal drug abuse? These decisions have to be made. You get a form and you must check the boxes you will “accept” It just leaves you feeling sort of…yucky. I will drive you to your knees. How can you make such a decision? I guess the reality is- God places different callings on our lives. I guess. I’m thinking there is nothing special about us. YOU can do this. If God places the call to adopt on your family, He will provide all you need. That’s another post.

When we filled out the form we checked every box except two. We checked all sorts of conditions, maternal drug abuse, unknown birthfather, even maternal alcohol abuse. Two things we just weren’t sure we could handle were mental illness and HIV. But- we wanted to pray about it so we asked that the agency call if the situation arose. They called. They had a woman making an adoption plan with a mental illness and a long family history of mental illness. We prayed, we sought counsel both from our spiritual leaders and doctors. We agreed- if this was the baby God had for our family he would be all we needed no matter what. He was the baby had for us. Can you even imagine our family without Josiah? The love God has poured out on us through this precious boy. The lessons he’s taught us about His love, His eternal plan of redemption through adoption. O.K. Now tears…. ohhh, I would have every family I know adopt! God has chosen some of you, even if you don’t know it yet.

So we were driving down Hwy 334, in March 2008 when Les told me to make the call and tell our social worker we had prayed about it and we were open to anything. “You mean anything but….” “No, I mean anything” “But..” “Anything“   Give me Your eyes so I can see.

A beautiful little girl Trey fell in love with in Ethiopia. A little girl who has been given a home, a family. A little girl who is HIV positive.

“In You the orphan finds mercy.” Hosea 14:3

“I will not leave you orphans, I will come to you.” John 14:18

“A father of the fatherless, a defender of widows, Is God in His holy habitation. God sets the solitary in families;” Psalm 68:5

 

Adoption-Coffee-Forever Family

Where to start? I don’t know, so I’ll just dive in and back up from there.

We first heard about Just Love Coffee Roasters at the recent Together for Adoption in Nashville. They provided us with gallons and gallons of coffee over the course of the weekend. African Skies was my favorite but more on that later. Just Love Coffee Roasters was born of one father’s journey to Ethiopia to adopt his children. You can read more about that from the site.

Now- about us & why we are partnering with Just Love. Deep breath. Ouradoptionagencycalledandtheyhaveaspecialmothermakinganadoption planandwouldweprayaboutthisbaby! Did you catch that? So what does Les say to that? “I’ll be praying. You be drawing up the paperwork.” This is a domestic adoption and our profile will be shown to the mother who will hopefully have more than one choice. More on how that works later.

Backing up. When we were applying to adopt the first time we filled out the what-will-you-accept form. I don’t like doing that. It is tough to mark no. We checked all the boxes except two. Skipping ahead to leave out the oh so personal aspects of our life. The Lord has really worked on us the last few years and we know that when He brings a child, He will provide all we need spiritually and otherwise. We just need to say- here I am, use me.

After encountering many closed doors to an Ethiopian adoption we decided to take a break from adoption and focus on Personhood. It is hard for me. It has been a time of being still and waiting. Definitely for my eternal good. I am NOT good at being still and waiting. I need to learn to rest and look to the future with eyes of faith. The last several weeks before the call came I was starting to get a little antsy. The is a getting real part- I was struggling to understand why. We have a heart for special children. The ones whose boxes don’t often get checked. God knows this and He knows the need. He is the God that sets the solitary in families. I had my ideas about what could happen here. We could find some amazing way to pay off debt, Les would land some huge sales. We would be financially set and know exactly how it was all going to work out from beginning to end. God has never worked in our family that way. He calls us to trust Him- to take huge steps of faith to follow where He leads us. A trusted Brother counseled us about Josiah’s adoption “As God opens doors, you walk through them”. By His grace, that is what we hope to do.

How can you help? Pray for us. We have alot going on as most of you know. We have a long list of things that need to fall into place. Stand back and watch. You will be amazed daily at what the Lord will do.

We will be applying for grants and fund raising for this adoption. We need you to pray about joining with us to give another precious child a forever family. We can’t all adopt a child but we can all do something to help hold up the arms of an adopting family.

Sooo. BUY COFFEE!!! Check out our store at Just Love Coffee Roasters and buy awesomely good coffee. JLCR will give $5.00 to our adoption fund for every bag of coffee you buy! Can you imagine how fast that could add up? Organic Fair Trade Coffee would make great Christmas gifts for family, friends or clients. You will be helping us bring a new baby home and a portion of the proceeds go to Kids Care Orphanage in Ethiopia to help build a new school.

Please look consider buying your coffee from JLCR. Thanks!

Visit our store at www.justlovecoffee.com/Rileyfamily

I will also be putting an ad in my sidebar.

I’m praying about blogging this adoption process more in depth. Maybe giving you a little more intimate peek into our life. What do you think? Can y’all handle it?

 

Gaining a son

O.K. so I’m a little late to this party- but not as late as Emily; she hasn’t posted since August.

Emily & Tyler were engaged to be married on October 19th. It happened about 9 at night while we were waiting for Ellen, Cal & Corrie to return from their 3 state Personhood tour. Tyler and Emily were on the porch swing & we were all going about our business while children ran wild through the house. Ya know, like any other night. We were visiting and talking with Caleb, who is like one of our children except he doesn’t run wild through the house. Usually. There was the time he got out of his car, took off running through the yard & jumped into the pond with all his clothes on….  Anyway, I was clueless about what was going on outside. I thought they were discussing their counseling session with Lanny. That session sparked alot of discussion- I guess that’s what good pre-marital counseling will do.

You could have knocked me over with a feather when Tyler made the announcement. I always thought Emily would be the type that would want to think about it before answering. I guess she had already thought about it & I know she had been praying.

I love you both and I’m very happy for y’all ! I have LOTS to say to you both. I’ll write you a book

Love with me

Keith Green

You want to love with me, love with me then,

I only ask that you still be my friend,

For there are many where friendship’s unknown,

They live together, but really alone.

And the days go their ways in silence,

Tense hours of woe,

We do not mean to have it so.

I know that sometimes I’m harder to love,

I thrash out blindly, like nothing’s thought of,

So won’t you help me to help you be sure,

God only knows that I want to be pure.

But the world keeps it promise daily, to let me down,

But it can’t hide what I have found.

So I will love you, and love you I do,

It’s not complete yet, but you know we’re not through

And the days go their ways in blessings,

Moments of truth,

We truly dare not waste our youth

You wanna love with me, love with me then.

“Are you gaining a son or losing a daughter?” People really ask this question. Both. We are gaining a son, for sure, but as she leaves our home to become his wife she will leave her father and become one with Tyler before God. And that is good.

 

Random thoughts from a full heart

This blog has definitely not been neglected because I had nothing to talk about!

Let’s see… I don’t even know where to start.

Hannah, Ellen & Corrie

Ellen went on a trip with Cal and two of her best friends. It seems like a lifetime ago- they visited Missouri, Kansas & Oklahoma for ministry and Personhood work. I am so thankful for how God is working in the lives of these girls. Can’t seem to keep my train of thought here….

Keith Green- Asleep In The Light

Do you see, do you see
All the people sinking down
Don’t you care, don’t you care
Are you gonna let them drown
How can you be so numb
Not to care if they come
You close your eyes
And pretend the job’s done

Oh bless me Lord, bless me Lord
You know it’s all I ever hear
No one aches, no one hurts
No one even sheds one tear
But He cries, He weeps, He bleeds
And He cares for your needs
And you just lay back
And keep soaking it in,
Oh, can’t you see it’s such a sin?
Cause He brings people to you door,
And you turn them away
As you smile and say,
God bless you, be at peace
And all heaven just weeps
Cause Jesus came to you door
You’ve left him out on the streets

Open up open up
And give yourself away
You see the need, you hear the cries
So how can you delay
God’s calling and you’re the one
But like Jonah you run
He’s told you to speak
But you keep holding it in,
Oh can’t you see it’s such a sin?

The world is sleeping in the dark
That the church just can’t fight
Cause it’s asleep in the light
How can you be so dead
When you’ve been so well fed
Jesus rose from the grave
And you, you can’t even get out of bed
Oh, Jesus rose from the dead
Come on, get out of your bed
How can you be so numb
Not to care if they come
You close your eyes
And pretend the job’s done
You close your eyes
And pretend the job’s done
Don’t close your eyes
Don’t pretend the jobs done
Come away, come away, come away with Me my love,
Come away, from this mess, come away with Me, my love.

It’s been two weeks tomorrow since grandmothers accident and so much has happened since then. I feel sort of like a spectator in my life. Like I’m standing in the corner watching all this happen to someone else. I stand absolutely amazed at all the Lord is doing now. I am just so thankful for the peace of God in our life. No matter what goes on around and with us we can know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that our Beloved is ours. What have we to fear? Nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus. So why do we spend so much time trying to guard ourselves from pain, or death, or even discomfort.

Do you see? Do you see? All the people sinking down? Grandmother got moved to a private room. That should make me much more physically comfortable. I’ve been sleeping on a tile floor in front of the sink. It is literally the only available space and people have to lean over me all night to wash their hands. I should be thrilled with a private room but it makes me sad. I have been so blessed to minister to hurting people who I could otherwise never reach. Our first room-mate was a drugged out middle-aged woman who fell at Wal-mart and smashed her jaw. The smallest service on her behalf would reduce her to tears- she had never known sacrificial love. She could not understand why someone would help her and get nothing in return. At one point she literally started weeping and asking “How? How can his be?”

Our next roomy was a 22 yo girl who was in a drunk driving accident and broke half the bones in her body. She was divorced with two kids and she was out drinking the night before her child’s birthday and almost died. 22 years old. I was able to talk with her about her life and were it was going. It is amazing what people will let you say to them if you’ll just help them with their bedpan.

The distraught father in the ICU waiting room. His son was shot in a gang incident and died later that night. Maybe you saw it on the news and thought it was just another one off the street. I was looking into that Fathers eyes as he broke down weeping. A child lost forever. I’ll be honest- My first thought was “Why? Why do I have to be here now? Why did I talk to this man?” I just wanted the floor to swallow me up.

So. I’m headed back tonight. Please pray that I would speak the truth with boldness to hurting people.

I am so excited that the Hootie-Hoot Evangelism team is coming next weekend! Turn the world on its head for Christ!

“We love the old saints, missionaries, martyrs, and reformers. Our Luthers, Bunyans, Wesleys and Asburys, etc… We will write their biographies, reverence their memories, frame their epitaphs, and build their monuments. We will do anything except imitate them. We cherish the last drop of their blood, but watch carefully over the first drop of our own.” - A. W. Tozer

O.K. Emily and Tyler deserve their own post. Coming up.

We have a very serious matter of prayer before us- many needs- lots to work out and we’re updating our homestudy. Did I just say that out loud? A-hem.

 

Are three hearts better than two?

O.K. listening to Family Life Today with Elisabeth Elliot. It’s a rebroadcast from 1996, i think. I sooo want to post quotes but ,arrggg, my hands are tied here. She is echoing the very cry of my heart about the establishing of new families in Christ. It is so refreshing to hear a godly older lady who is not afraid of the term arranged marriage.

“Dennis: So you wouldn’t leave a young person to make that decision of who they marry on their own, as a parent now?

Elisabeth: Absolutely not.  And I hadn’t realized until I began studying my own family – my four brothers, my sister and me – just how much influence our parents had on all of us.  And there’s only one member out of the six of us who actually went against our parents’ wishes and that one person is divorced.“

Listen if you want-  Here

 

Marriage to a Visionary Man

So, this is not my favorite book on the subject but you gotta give credit where credit is due. The author* is right on in this:

Mr. Visionary

God is a Visionary as seen in his person, the Holy Spirit. He made some men in the image of that part of his nature. Prophets, be they true or false, are usually of this type. Some of you are married to men who are shakers, changers, and dreamers. These men get the entire family upset about peripheral issues, such as: do we believe in Christmas? Should we use state marriage licenses? Should a Christian opt out of the Social Security system? The issues may be serious and worthy of one’s commitment, but , in varying degrees, these men have tunnel vision, tenaciously focusing on single issues. They are often the church splitters and the ones who demand doctrinal purity and proper dress and conduct. Like a prophet, they call people to task for their inconsistencies. If they are not wise, they can be real jerks who push their agendas, forcing others to go their way.

What does it mean to be married to this man? It’s been twenty-three years and I’m still learning. He is passionate. He can be moody at times. He is a thinker, not content to take your word for how things should be. He is black or white- almost never gray. Right or wrong. He can tend towards extreme positions on the issues- this is where our church and elders are a great balance for the Riley Family, pulling us back towards the middle of the of the road and admonishing us to always be looking towards Christ.- O.K. so they are probably thinking- What? This is the Riley’s balanced?!? Oh Lord, help us!

We are currently studying the life of David Livingstone and Les actually cheered and high-fived me when he heard this excerpt from Peter Hammond

David Livingstone was inspired by an optimistic eschatology. Like most of the

missionaries of the nineteenth century, Livingstone was a postmillenialist who

held to the eschatology of victory. The optimistic missionary wrote,

“Discoveries and inventions are cumulative…filling the earth with the glory of the Lord,

all nations will sing His glory and bow before Him…our work and it’s fruit are cumulative.

We work towards a new state of things. Future missionaries will be rewarded by conversions

for every sermon.We are their pioneers and helpers. Let them not forget the watchmen of

the night, who worked when all was gloom and no evidence of success in the way

of conversions cheers our path. They will doubtless have more light than we, but we

serve our Master earnestly and proclaim the same Gospel as they will do.”

I struck me a while back that even our family worship reflects this dominion theology. We are focusing on the Kingship of Christ as a family. It even comes out in the hymns we pick. It is our family culture and is very much, unapologetically, shaped by Les and built around Christ.

He’s sometimes hard to please- he expects alot out of us and alot out of himself.

Settling for less than we are capable of is not faithful contentment for what God has given us; it is slothful ingratitude for His gifts. ~Les Riley (from the Riley bulletin board)

We woke up to this little note from Les on our bulletin board. This is pretty typical. It’s not always an easy path he lays before us but we know that his main goal is to live a life of sold out obedience to Jesus Christ.

Les is passionate about fatherhood, liberty, repentance and bringing all under the rule of Christ. Les is passionate about everything. And can sometimes be impatient with people who aren’t.  Who was it that said “The Christian life is a battleground, not a playground”? I can’t remember but it gets quoted at us alot around here. Passionate men can, sometimes alot of times, be misunderstood & I find myself frequently asking him who’s hatin’ on him this week. This used to bother me. I tended to take it personally when people attacked my husband- and they do often. If you take a stand for righteousness in this world, people will hate you. There was just something about threats to our home and my husbands physical person that used to get under my skin. It has been a gracious work of God to give me peace in this area.

If my husband is to stand in the gate and proclaim truth he needs me to stand behind him in faith, to hold him up in prayer. He does not need to constantly babysit my fearful , faith-lacking spirit. We have a flag hanging on our den wall. It is white with a blue star and the words Liberty or Death on it. This flag was stitched by a group of wives in Georgia and presented to their husbands as they left to join the fight for independence in Texas. These women believed something was more important than themselves. That something was liberty. How much more should we be willing to sacrifice for the cause of righteousness? So far all I have really given up to follow this man and his vision is (what the world calls) financial security, leisure/me time and probably alot of sleep. But if I embrace this man and give my life to supporting him in his God given vision- Wow. The blessings and freedom are so much more than I can begin to describe. This is who I am called to be in Christ. This is one of the most important roles a woman can play. It is common to hear that motherhood is the highest calling but I think that is putting the cart before the horse. How can I fulfill the high calling of motherhood if I am not first being a prayer partner, helper, lover, encourager and friend to the man God placed over me? I was created for Him first and then for him. What a blessing!

“High hearts are never go long without hearing some new call, some distant voice of God, even in their dreams. Soon they are observed to break up the camp of ease and start on some new fresh march of faithful service. And, looking higher still, we find those who never wait until their moral work accumulates, and who reward resolution with no rest. Therefore, with them the alteration is instantaneous and constant. They do the good only to see the better, and see the better only to acheive it. They are too meek for transport, too faithful for remorse, too earnest for repose. Their worship is action, and their action is ceaseless aspiration.”                     – James Martineau

 

What’s up in Rileyville?

It’s Sunday and I am home with a sick Squeaky Rah-Rah. My bible is beside me opened to 1 Corinthians 7-drying. Not significant, I’m reading straight through the New testament in the morning and that is where I was when the bottom dropped out of the sky. Again. I think these pages will be permanently wrinkly. It is really quiet here. I’ve been reading and now I’m trying to resist the urge to clean house while no children are here. Emily and Trey went to Memphis with Hannah & Anthony and Les took the remaining children to church.

So what have we been doing? Lots.

Tea Partying

Lots of walks in the rain- I love walking in the rain.

Petitioning. Here there and everywhere. We are beginning to get alot of “already signed” which is encouraging. Especially when they signed at places we did not people were working. Or people we did not know were working. Emily asked a man to sign at the Jackson 9/12 Rally who had several hundred signatures in his car that he had collected.

Les speaking on the steps of the Capitol Building on 9/12. We have been traveling to several speaking engagements in recent weeks. I think my husband is a gifted man but I have been amazed at the power the Lord has given him in recent weeks to speak His message of repentance.

Receiving our first hate mail. For this life adventure, anyway. So far no death threats. I am so thankful for the peace the Lord is giving me about these things. It has not always been so.

We have been receiving LOTS of mail lately. Praise the LORD, the mail lady has taken to bringing it to the house because it won’t fit in our mailbox!

hanging Riley kids like Christmas tree ornaments

Sneaking around with the camera(!)

Trying desperately to fit home education in with petitioning, wifeing, mothering & homekeeping. Thursday we went to Memphis for a field trip to the Pink Palace. We have a membership & go often.  Miserable failure from the educational standpoint. The palace section was closed! That’s our favorite part. We went his week because the Dinosaurs and Sea Monsters exhibit closed this week and the kids wanted to see it. Only there was no it to see. It was nothing but a few mechanical dinosaurs that the little Riley’s were terrified of. Big thumbs down. Mer was sick, Siah was wild and mom was frazzled. We definitely need a better museum going system or a better parenting system. Hum… We barely got any good pictures because A- the camera doesn’t work so great since it got dropped. Yes, the new one. B- The sneaky picture takers had the camera and spent alot of time trying to locate and take undetected pictures of- Emily and Tyler. They joined us at the Pink Palace after having lunch at The Olive Garden. I assume they were having lunch at the Olive Garden, for all I know they might have been notebook shopping.

Hum? Is this a mammal?

I visited Life Choices before heading  to the Pink Palace Thursday. I needed to talk to Judy about something & while I was there I filled out the sibling paper they sent us. Basically, they wanted to know if we wanted to be contacted in the event that Josiah’s birthmother placed another baby for adoption. This happens more than you’d think. Of course we would want to be contacted and would do whatever we needed to make it happen but I pray that it never does. I can’t begin to imagine the anguish of relinquishing a child and I hope she never has to go through that again.

O.K. this has taken quite enough of my time. Bye!

P.S. A bonus picture for the Grandparents. Cause we forgot Grandparents Day Sorry. We love You!

Emily came home with these the other day. First roses not from Daddy.

 

The Change

Well I got myself a T-shirt that says what I believe

 I got letters on my bracelet to serve as my ID

 I got the necklace and the key chain

 And almost everything a good Christian needs

 I got the little Bible magnets on my refrigerator door

 And a welcome mat to bless you before you walk across my floor

 I got a Jesus bumper sticker And the outline of a fish stuck on my car

 And even though this stuff’s all well and good

 I cannot help but ask myself …

 

What about the change

What about the difference

What about the grace

What about forgiveness

What about a life that’s showing I’m undergoing the change

I like Steven Curtis Chapman. Really.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.

2 Corinthians 5:17

 

Africa

*Warning* Ramble ahead.

We finally sat down to watch Blood Diamond the other night. I lasted about three minutes…it was brutal. I will probably watch at some point because I really think it is critical that we not look away in the face of brutality and oppression. Or child prostitution. Or slavery. Or murdered unborn babies…

A friend really thinks I need to watch this. I think it might be because she thinks that if I understood the level of brutality going on in Africa, I would never let my kids go there. Anthony came over one night before Jacob went to Ethiopia & saw the movie Hotel Rwanda on the bar. He suggested that it might not be helpful to watch that before Jake went. Why? Because it would scare me? While the first few minutes of Blood Diamond sickened me, it did nothing to dissuade me.

Go to the hungry ones and fill them with His bread

They’ll leave their darkness as you shine the light He shed

Point to His promises, believe in all He said

And His joy will be manifest in you

And the lost will be found as He works through you

Jesus commands us to go. Do we stay because “it’s hot there” or “you’ll get kidnapped by pirates” or “those people are diseased” or my personal favorite “those people are uncivilized” Oh really? The people that come to the mill every week to murder their children are civilized because they have clean clothes & air conditioning? We’re civilized outside of Christ?

Yes, there is great spiritual darkness. Africa needs Christ. America needs Christ. We need Christ.

“How are they to call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching?And how are they to preach unless they are sent?”

Romans 10:14,15

O.K. so suppose the worst were to happen. What is the worst? That we die in Christ? Sharing Christ with those who are dying in their sin? That our children die? To gain Christ?

Out on the highways, there’s so many passing by

Step out in boldness and watch the family multiply

Pray up some miracles, let’s open up the sky

And His joy will be manifest in you

And the lost will be found by the things you do

Stonewall Jackson said ” My religious belief teaches me to feel as safe in battle as in bed. God has fixed the time for my death. I do not concern myself about that, but to be always ready, no matter when it may overtake me.That is the way all men should live, and then all would be equally brave”.

We can trust our children to an ever faithful Father who loves them so much more than we can imagine. Wherever He calls my children, it is my prayer that I will rest in that trust.

 

 

Daily…

“He looketh to what I desire to be, and not to what I am.”

Rich in mercy that is new EVERY morning…..